FRANK MBA: Detecting Signs of Spouse Battery (Part 1)

FRANK MBA, POLICE FORCE PRO

Recently a Lagos High Court in Ikeja sentenced to death Akolade Arowolo for the murder of his banker wife, Titilayo, who he repeatedly stabbed to death at their Lagos residence. The question everyone would naturally want to ask, is why?

This incident is not an isolated case because there are so many “Titilayos” who had been maimed or murdered in the past by their violent and aggressive spouses.

Could a man be so frustrated to the point of killing his wife and cutting her into pieces? Is he a confirmed drunk and wife beater? Why don’t ladies see all these signals before walking down the aisle? Was it his first time to beat her, why did she stay there? the questions are endless.

Battery, domestic abuse, spousal abuse, family violence, dating abuse, and intimate partner violence, are some of the terms associated with a pattern of behavior which involves the abuse by one partner against another in an intimate relationship such as marriage, cohabitation, and dating which involves physical aggression with the sole aim of inflicting pain.

Wife battery is not just a crime, it is immoral, unethical and a clear breach of the fundamental right and the dignity of the abused.

Most women have experienced one form of physical battery or the other from their spouses. This violent act which could be psychological or physical assault by a man against his woman with the intention of controlling her by inflicting fear or pain on her is common amongst men who still believe that they have the right to rule and control women.

Although religion and culture recognize man as the head of the family this has been grossly misinterpreted and abused, as some men think that beating their wives or girlfriends at the slightest provocation is the best way to prove their superiority.

The big question now is “How can this social vice be prevented?”

Ladies need to be cautious of whom they date. A guy who has an uncontrollable temper and easily hits a lady at the slightest provocation has the tendency to batter a woman, so also is one whose sense of judgment is affected as a result of drunkenness. One who is addicted to illicit drug substances such as marijuana, or Indian hemp may also have the tendency of battering a woman.

Most women prefer to keep silent over this, just to keep their marriages and relationship going.

In recent times, this gender-based domestic violence has assumed an alarming dimension. Some victims who didn’t want their identity disclosed recounted their ordeals which include broken bones, miscarriage, permanent disability and death of loved ones. Police stations across the country are bothered with several reported cases of such violence.

Battery is an abuse of women that should be frowned at and discouraged, but unfortunately there are cases where it is regarded as a family matter to be handled internally, thereby leaving women with no choice but to erroneously accept it as part of marriage.

Economic hardship has also been cited as a major cause of domestic violence. A lot of men folk are finding it increasingly difficult to meet their financial obligations. This has led to the twin evil of frustration and violence, of course the end result -battering the ‘weaker sex’ around them to boost their ego.

A victim of domestic violence said she lost two pregnancies to regular beatings by her husband as a result of drunkenness.  Apart from drunkenness, transfer of aggression has been identified by psychologists as a major cause of battery.

To avoid battery Ladies should stop dating men who show traces of violence. This will save women from being victims of battery in marriage. It is better not to enter the relationship, especially when the lady has seen traces of violence in the man. You cannot afford to keep staying with a man that beats you always, one day, he may even kill you.

As stated earlier, drunkenness, smoking and drug addiction fuel battery directly or indirectly, so ladies should stay off guys who are addicted to these social vices.

Marriage and courtship are for companionship and love, and should be devoid of acts that inflict pain, which could be deadly and fatal.

If you are dating a guy who has a bad temper and hits you at the slightest provocation, or loses his sense of judgment as a result of drunkenness or influence of alcohol then consider quitting that abusive relationship. No excuse is good enough; don’t put your life in danger. Remember, it is only a woman that is alive that bears the title of ‘Mrs’. There is no justifiable reason whatsoever for any man to batter a woman. Any man that lays his hands on a woman with the sole aim of inflicting pain on her or to prove his superiority is a “weak man”.

Staying alive should be the utmost priority of a wife or even a girlfriend. Remember that marriage is for the living and not the dead.

Recently a Lagos High Court in Ikeja sentenced to death Akolade Arowolo for the murder of his banker wife, Titilayo, who he repeatedly stabbed to death at their Lagos residence. The question everyone would naturally want to ask, is why?

This incident is not an isolated case because there are so many Titilayos in the past by their violent and aggressive spouses.

Could a man be so frustrated to the point of kiiling his wife and cutting her into pieces? Is he a confirmed drunk and wife beater? Why don’t ladies see all these signals before walking down the aisle? Was it his first time to beat her, why did she stay there? the questions are endless.

Battery, domestic abuse, spousal abuse, family violence, dating abuse, and intimate partner violence, are some of the terms associated with a pattern of behavior which involves the abuse by one partner against another in an intimate relationship such as marriage, cohabitation, and dating which involves physical aggression with the sole aim of inflicting pain.

Wife battery is not just a crime, it is immoral, unethical and a clear breach of the fundamental right and the dignity of the abused.

Most women have experienced one form of physical battery or the other from their spouses. This violent act which could be psychological or physical assault by a man against his woman with the intention of controlling her by inflicting fear or pain on her is common amongst men who still believe that they have the right to rule and control women.

Although religion and culture recognize man as the head of the family this has been grossly misinterpreted and abused, as some men think that beating their wives or girlfriends at the slightest provocation is the best way to prove their superiority.

The big question now is “How can this social vice be prevented?”

Ladies need to be cautious of whom they date. A guy who has an uncontrollable temper and easily hits a lady at the slightest provocation has the tendency to batter a woman, so also is one whose sense of judgment is affected as a result of drunkenness. One who is addicted to illicit drug substances such as marijuana, or Indian hemp may also have the tendency of battering a woman.

Most women prefer to keep silent over this, just to keep their marriages and relationship going.

In recent times, this gender-based domestic violence has assumed an alarming dimension. Some victims who didn’t want their identity disclosed recounted their ordeals which include broken bones, miscarriage, permanent disability and death of loved ones. Police stations across the country are bothered with several reported cases of such violence.

Battery is an abuse of women that should be frowned at and discouraged, but unfortunately there are cases where it is regarded as a family matter to be handled internally, thereby leaving women with no choice but to erroneously accept it as part of marriage.

Economic hardship has also been cited as a major cause of domestic violence. A lot of men folk are finding it increasingly difficult to meet their financial obligations. This has led to the twin evil of frustration and violence, of course the end result -battering the ‘weaker sex’ around them to boost their ego.

A victim of domestic violence said she lost two pregnancies to regular beatings by her husband as a result of drunkenness.  Apart from drunkenness, transfer of aggression has been identified by psychologists as a major cause of battery.

To avoid battery Ladies should stop dating men who show traces of violence. This will save women from being victims of battery in marriage. It is better not to enter the relationship, especially when the lady has seen traces of violence in the man. You cannot afford to keep staying with a man that beats you always, one day, he may even kill you.

As stated earlier, drunkenness, smoking and drug addiction fuel battery directly or indirectly, so ladies should stay off guys who are addicted to these social vices.

Marriage and courtship are for companionship and love, and should be devoid of acts that inflict pain, which could be deadly and fatal.

If you are dating a guy who has a bad temper and hits you at the slightest provocation, or loses his sense of judgment as a result of drunkenness or influence of alcohol then consider quitting that abusive relationship. No excuse is good enough; don’t put your life in danger. Remember, it is only a woman that is alive that bears the title of ‘Mrs’. There is no justifiable reason whatsoever for any man to batter a woman. Any man that lays his hands on a woman with the sole aim of inflicting pain on her or to prove his superiority is a “weak man”.

Staying alive should be the utmost priority of a wife or even a girlfriend. Remember that marriage is for the living and not the dead.